To: Me

The scent of essential oils could be perceived as soon as the apartment’s door opened. Recently she found a new way of mental and self care: Lighting candles with essential oils and also perfume burnets around her dorm. She founded them relaxing and somehow help her to forget, at least for a minute. Besides, she started by creating a new creative space -like if that was the reason why she was losing the skill of create through words- She was working on her surroundings so she could forget about what was about to come.

Long time ago, the sadness was coming only at night, although crying has being always part of her soul, expressing her feelings: anger, joy and happiness. Crying at night was not a big deal. We don’t really know how this began why she used crying as the way to let everything go out. Neither we know how the normal sadness turned into mean and scary thoughts about her and the sorrow started showing at any time.

However we do know the day everything changed for her, the sorrow and the fear thoughts mixed together, like if she had within inside this little caterpillar. This caterpillar was growing at the same time as she was becoming a young adult. However the caterpillar started to take all the negative thoughts and feelings instead of her, of course, until she was fully grown and she was an adult, and the caterpillar inside was born as disturbed butterfly, who just want to fly away and get lost from people, afar from reality, from home from everyone. 

You can imagine how this butterfly made her feel inside. She didn’t know what was going on with her, specifically that morning. Breakfast was served, the weather was just fine and her dad was eating with her, but all of the sudden she couldn’t ate, she started to cry and having this terrible feeling that something bad was going to happened, yes the butterfly had gotten free. 

The emergency physician let her know that she needed help. Indeed she found help.Months past by so fast and life was getting better, therapy was working and all the sadness left her body and she felt that this little disturbed butterfly went away to be free. 

Oh! oh! there is always a but and this is no the exception. After everything was just fine, when she finally felt responsible and finally an adult with no stupid fears, the butterfly came back stronger than ever. Why the came back again? Everything is good, school, job, friends and family. It has to be me -She said. Of course it was her, it has always been her, but she’s trying so desperate to find his path, to not fall again into those feelings. Now she’s dealing with nice smells in her house, candles and trying to get positive energy in her. However, deep inside she knows everything is back. 

To: Me 

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